I love having a two year old. Really, I do.
He’s full of personality. We can “talk” about things. We do more of things together now. Our interactions are my favorite part because I don’t find myself feeling as lonely as I did when he was a baby. (Sure, a two year old conversation doesn’t compare to an adult one, but it’s better than nothing!) I love seeing his interests and watching him become a ‘big boy.’ I’m always amazed at things he remembers or learns. He thinks he’s hilarious which is just funny to watch. And I melt every time he comes up to me and says “Hi mommy” and then plants a big ol’ kiss on my lips. He brings me a lot of happiness and joy.
That being said… It isn’t all sunshine and roses over here. Sure he’s more interactive than he was as a baby, but he’s also a lot more work. And then there’s the “Terrible Two” ness we have to deal with. We’ve finally hit a stage where Damian is trying so hard to communicate to us, but we very often don’t understand a new word he’s working on or some concept he’s trying to convey. This usually results in a VERY frustrated 2 year old and two parents at their wits’ end. The second he doesn’t get his way, the overdramatic, “my life is over, why do you hate?!?!” tears and screaming begin. I try to be patient with him because I know developmentally this is just where we are at. And in the right mood, sometimes I can find it almost comical to see him react like a 13 year old girl when I tell him he can’t pour water all over the floor. But dear Lord in Heaven…. Sometimes… Sometimes I fail to see any humor in it at all. I don’t know how my sweet little boy can turn into a raging, screaming mess. However, the part that really blows my mind is how suddenly the storm can be over and everything is fine again. It’s a constant emotional roller coaster. Two year olds have to be bi-polar.
It helps knowing that he’s not being ‘bad.’ He’s two. He’s not capable of being ‘evil.’ Sure he’s doing things to test the boundaries and probably push my buttons; but it’s because he’s at the age where he wants to know how everything works. Unfortunately that includes how mama and boundaries work as well. I’ve also just come to terms with the fact that these tantrums are going to happen when he doesn’t get his way. He’s impulsive and emotional because he’s two. He can’t sit down and rationally think out why we can’t be an hour late to church because he wants to wash his hands forever and ever. (Are you noticing a love of water theme?) It’s the moments that I tell myself in advance “This is going to cause an outburst” that I’m able to calmly deal with, and for the most part ignore, what happens next. It’s the ones that catch me off guard–like when I don’t understand what he’s saying to me in the car–that are tricky.
So while there are a ton of moments where Nate and I stare at each other in wide-eyed fright, there are still plenty that make up for it all. This is only a phase. It will pass as they all do. I just have to hang in there for the ups and downs. Pray a bit harder for strength and sanity. And maybe start counting down the days until I can drink wine again… (which is about 125 days…give or take.)